So, here is my most recent piece for Huff Post - let me know what you think x
Loving The Skin You're In - Finding Your Self-Esteem Stride In Your Forties
What International Women’s Day Means To Me
I have been thinking about International Women’s day for months, what I wanted to say and what it means to me.
International Women's Day (IWD) is a worldwide event that celebrates women's achievements, from the political to the social, whilst calling for gender equality.
It has been observed since the early 1900s and is now recognised each year on March 8. The theme for IWD 2017 is “Be Bold for Change” - encouraging people to step up and take ground breaking action to help drive gender equality.
It is difficult to say when IWD actually began, but its roots can be traced to 1908, when 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding voting rights, better pay and shorter working hours. These women were truly trailblazers in my opinion.
We all in our own way, I believe, work to strive for equality and “fairness” in all areas of our lives and this got me thinking about what inspires me about women and why I am proud to be one.
There are certain qualities that unify the women I call my friends, family members, and those I have revered through history. The traits that set these women apart are their determination, persistence and above all fearlessness.
We have seen incredible women throughout history like Rosa Parks - America Civil Rights Activist, Emmeline Pankhurst - leader of the British suffragette movement, Marie Curie – physicist and chemist; and in recent years - Malala Yousafzai - Pakistani activist for female education and the youngest ever Nobel Prize laureate.
Whilst I was never big on history at school, reading about these women’s lives and the ardent commitment they gave to their causes – well, these women are true icons in my view. Women I am in awe of.
Whilst the courage and fearlessness of these women and many others have gone down in history – I look around and see that incredible women surround me in all areas of my life.
In fact I would say hands down my closest friends are forces to be reckoned with, in a really good way.
I have friends who have raised their children alone after divorce, retrained and gone back to work after over a decade because they needed to support their families.
I have aunts, In India, who have given up their own goals to raise their families, keep them safe and nurse terminally ill relatives.
This isn’t a “mother” love-in – I know fearless women who chose not to have children, absolutely their right - and have done wonderful philanthropic things with their lives – with commitment, dedication and authenticity. Some have even ended up as stepmothers – not part of their initial life plan but dealt with the unknown challenges with wisdom and grace.
I am lucky enough to know women who even when they are low, brought to their knees through adversity – get back on their feet – roll their sleeves up and keep going. Their walks and talks are perfectly aligned and I find that so empowering and inspiring.This not me regaling about how women are better than men, I might joke that women are the more superior race – but truth be told – we need each other and work best side by side, in harmony.
And in case you didn’t know International Men’s Day is on November 19 each year and is celebrated in 60 countries around the world. The objective is to focus on men's and boy's health, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models.
But today is International Women’s Day. Women who embody authenticity, commitment and fearlessness live all around me; they inspire me and propel me to be better and I hope in my small way I can do the same.
Happy international Women's day!
Mothers and daughters: is this possibly one of the most difficult relationships ever?
Whether you are a mother, daughter or an innocent bystander - when sparks fly between a mother and a daughter - you better watch out.
Mothers and daughters know each other's weakest spots; exactly which buttons to press and which comments will cut to the bone.
We also know how to make things right for each other, how to comfort each other and what to say and when not to say it.
But why is this relationship such a potential minefield?
I feel it’s because a mother often sees her daughter as an extension of herself. Maybe even her second chance do things again, better, with experience and hindsight.
A mother wants to protect her daughter from making the same mistakes she’s made. She wants to give her daughter opportunities she never had.
I certainly know from my upbringing – my mother would often say she wanted me to have what she didn’t have growing up.
I feel, a mother wants her daughter to like her and maybe be a little like her too, even though we don’t always admit to this.
The trouble with all that of course is daughters are not an extension of their mothers – they are their own person, with a unique mind-set and journey...I was historically quite smug about my relationship with my daughter. Up to her 16th birthday, she was completely straightforward – no terrible twos, threes or twelves. We were close – ski weekends and trips to Rome – just the two of us.
But at 16, things changed dramatically. We disagreed A LOT. She seemed to actively push against things I would do or say. I knew she was becoming independent and carving out her own way of living, but I wondered why our charmed relationship had to change?
The last few years have been challenging at times. But now my daughter is 18 I could not be more proud. She is absolutely her own person. She is independent, opinionated, determined, committed, intelligent and vibrant.
Her life and outlook are in many ways completely different to mine - but quite right too.
I am sure we have more challenges coming our way. As a mother, well, actually as me, I find it almost impossible to keep my mouth shut sometimes. But after an unpredictable few years, our relationship is pretty great.
We are not in each others' pockets as much as I would like (!) but we still understand each other in a way that is particular to us.
I feel mothers, sometimes subconsciously and unfairly expect too much from their girls - even though we say we don’t - maybe it is hardwired somewhere and won’t really change.
But - as mothers, we could be more mindful of this and as daughters we could cut our mothers a little slack.
For me as daughter, I still find it hard to go against something my mother has said even if I don't agree with it and sometimes I end up resenting the situation.
My daughter, however, armed with her modern day voice and an arsenal of choices does not hesitate to shoot me down if need be.
I guess the last few years have been really eye opening with respect to my relationship with my daughter and how we move forwards. I have learnt that I can’t “make” her do or be anything she doesn’t want to be. And to be honest, I wouldn’t really want her to…. so I can’t really complain, can I?