ezcema — All Posts — Parry Ray in Harmony

For as long as I can remember I have had problems with my skin – physically and metaphorically speaking.

I think I may have mentioned this before but I had really bad eczema head to toe, from about 5 years old to 15. It was unsightly, sore; it used to sting and was uncontrollably itchy.

I was one of those children who had to wear cotton mittens to bed or I’d scratch my skin raw and make it bleed, and I couldn’t wear jeans because the rash on my legs was so weepy that the material would stick to me - I know – horrid.

With the run up to my to my video shoot recently, a number of people have commented on how I have “good” skin. This makes me laugh because imprinted indelibly in my memory is my childhood eczema ridden skin; and when I look at my skin now I see every little scar from where the rashes were.

Please know that I well aware that having eczema isn’t the worst thing in the world, I know that there are much worse diseases and disorders to deal with. But eczema can be oddly insidious and debilitating. And when I was a child my skin became very infected so I was hospitalized twice, which was pretty scary.

I suppose predictably this all, in turn, had a knock on effect, on the metaphorical skin I was in.

I felt substandard because I had this horrible skin condition that affected how I looked, and felt and consequently changed the way I behaved. My self-esteem plummeted for a long time....And though it took me a while to see it, there were up sides. Firstly it wasn’t life threatening. Secondly, it taught me to how to look after myself in a very basic way. I had to learn from about 6 years old how to clean my skin properly and be really hygienic.

And though I didn’t want to be around people as I felt I looked bad so would spend a lot of time in my bedroom - music was my companion. Writing poetry and songs filled my days. It was a beautiful escape from reality.

Also, I have acquired a resilience that pops up when I need it. I am, as you may have realised, rather emotional and quite “fluffy” but there is something in me that makes me dig my heels in, stand up and push through. I won’t say eczema was the only factor in this character trait, but certainly a prevalent one.

So I suppose in comparison nowadays my skin is “good”. I still take care of it in a very particular, slightly obsessive way. I choose products carefully and always veer on the side of natural. And I think these days my self-esteem is on the up too (!!)I do however still get slightly panicked when I get a rash or a spot (!) but I have learned that it is not a disaster.

I have over the years had outbreaks of eczema, I’m not “cured” - certain foods, pollen, pregnancy and stress can all trigger a rash.

But in general, it’s pretty good. I know and accept I have really sensitive skin – physically and metaphorically – but that’s ok.