I always get nervous, before a recording, performance and even before I meet new people sometimes.
You see I am quite shy. I suspect a few people are rolling their eyes and I have one particular mate (who lives in Sydney) who is probably spluttering on his red wine if he is reading this! But I am and I have recognized growing up that being shy is not conducive to my chosen path, so I have trained myself not to be…However, nervousness is a different ball game. It seems to be more elusive. And though I have tried, I can’t eradicate my nerves.
But I have noticed over the years that my brain follows a pattern - what I call my nerves curve. And I’d be really interested to know if this is the same for everyone.
So, the phases of my nerves curve – firstly huge excitement about performing - there is nothing I would rather do.
This is closely followed by severe over thinking, learning and relearning till everything becomes like second nature. I was recently told to chill - in this phase there is no chilling...Then at the peak of the nerves curve – I forget everything. I always have a moment when everything vanishes from my brain - lyrics, melody, phrasing, and interpretation.
Then I panic and wonder why I have put all this work in. I practise a little harder and nothing works. So, I have to leave all alone. When I revisit it, everything is back.
After this, any nerves fall away very quickly and the focus becomes about being as authentic as I can be and communicating what I want to say. Anticipation takes over and I can’t wait to do what it is I have been working towards.
Then just before I go on stage I forget everything again and sometimes even shake. I don’t feel nervous but it is like a delayed reaction - as though my body has caught up with my brain.
I have had to learn to trust myself because when I open my mouth the right melody and lyrics seem to fall out…well, most of the time!
My earliest recollection of this pattern was when I was 11. We were performing a musical called “Once upon a mattress” – based on “The Princess and the Pea” at school.
I was the court Minstrel who narrated and sang throughout the play. Whilst preparing for the role, I went through all the phases I’ve described.
The tricky bit was the beginning of the play. It started with me on the stage alone singing, without accompaniment for about 16 bars.
I remember standing on the school stage looking out and seeing everyone waiting, about 1000 people in total…and I think my mother had her head in her hands (!)
I waited longer than planned but once I opened my mouth, my legs stopped shaking and pure enjoyment took over.
I have always assumed this cycle is particular to me. And I suppose nervousness can affect us in many different situations…. what about you? When do you feel nervous and how do you overcome it?