Does it equate to your dream job, the size of your bank balance, a perfect relationship, what schools and colleges your children go to, or being truly happy and having peace of mind?
For me, the meaning of success has changed dramatically over the years.
I was brought up in a very traditional Indian family and one of the stereotypes was that success was defined by academic achievement and status – where you went to school, what job you had, where you lived, even what car you drove.Although I knew from a very early age that I wanted to write, sing and perform, that desire was suppressed by my family’s wishes for me to pursue something that was perceived to have greater kudos than writing songs in my journal and performing in bands.
So, for a long while I followed the “expected” path – I worked to get into the best schools, got loads of qualifications, jobs in journalism and publishing - and whilst I definitely threw myself into everything I did – there was always a slight latent dissatisfaction.
Don’t get me wrong. I did enjoy what I was achieving and of course making good money gives us choices and lovely materialistic things.
Don’t worry; I am not going to regurgitate my whole life here. But over time I realised that whilst a lot of people like to tick off achievements, it didn’t really fuel my fire and in some ways felt hollow.
Of course, I set goals and want to do my best but there has to be an element of intangible fulfilment. Something, and this is not meant to sound pretentious, that makes my soul sing.
For many years, I felt unsuccessful professionally because I wasn’t climbing a career ladder and ticking boxes. But during that time, in my twenties, I gave birth twice and nurtured two gorgeous babies who have turned into two rather impressive young adults. I know many people do this, but for me, being a mother is a huge personal success, as I have never thought of myself as “mother material”.
My other success is – my music – I guess you knew that was coming. Lots of people thought I was idiotic to pick up my singing career when my children were babies. But I had no choice - it was a compulsion.
Even though it is still not the most straightforward of paths - the rewards of creating and performing music are limitless, to me.
So I guess if you asked what success means to me now, I would say, doing what I love, overcoming obstacles and living each moment to its fullest.
I also place very high regard on emotional success and by this I mean treating people well, with kindness and compassion. Loving the people I care about to the best of my ability. I don't always get it right and am a bitch sometimes, but that’s because I am human and flawed…I leave you with this Maya Angelou quote, which could have been the whole post really, but I feel you know by now how I love to ramble…“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and how you do it“.
Pretty succinct - so what does success mean to you?