When I was younger - I’m thinking of my school and university years here, I used to feel waiting was a sign of weakness. Surely it meant I was indecisive and I didn’t know what I wanted.
I have always trusted my instincts but often didn’t take the time to follow them through to the end of a thought process. I was in too much of a rush to dive in and ended up being quite impetuous. Consequently, I fell into life decisions that in time I wasn’t happy with, having arguments and disagreements with people I cared about because I didn’t wait to let the dust settle.
But in my mind making quick decisions was linked to being proactive and getting things done, so it was okay.
I had a flatmate at university, whose dad used to say to us, “When in doubt, means no”. This turned into a bit of a blanket philosophy for us. When we couldn’t trust our own judgment we used to defer to this way of thinking. Admittedly, we mainly employed this approach to going out with boys. Life was full of the big issues in those days!
However, as I have grown older, I have come to realise that waiting can have great merit. Delaying a decision, a delicate conversation, reviewing a situation, being more measured before I decide on anything can actually be a much stronger position to take. It’s okay for me not to be sure of everything straightaway.
And in this ever accelerating, fast track, society of instant gratification in which we live – taking our time and even hitting pause sometimes can be really beneficial for mind and body.
As a personality, I can be quite impulsive, so this does go against my natural state, but when I employ this way of thinking and being, whilst still trusting my instincts, I increasingly seem to end up in the right place, in the right way.
Over recent weeks I have found this particularly pertinent at home. As I have mentioned in previous posts we are in the midst of exams. There is a lot going on, some things that I may expand upon over the coming weeks that have injected a little bit of crazy into everyone’s lives.
And whilst there may be many things to discuss, worries to address, waiting to find the right time is paramount. I have to be honest I don’t often get this right, but I am trying and learning. And as I often say to my kids, “If you can’t think of something positive to say, don’t say anything at all.” Hard to do, but this is a great example of waiting…The other area, in which I am trying to teach myself to wait - is shopping. Bear with me here. It is no secret that I am an ardent shopper. I love fashion and all things beautiful. But, at the start of the year, I decided I wanted to curb my spending on frivolous things. After all, there are only 7 days in the week, so there is a limit to how many clothes I can actually wear.And the funny thing here is that delayed gratification feels much more rewarding that the instant variety. Waiting a while to see if I really want something makes me happier. I make a slow, informed decision - and it is better for my bank balance, for which I am also very grateful. I know this is a superficial example, but the mindset permeates so many areas of my life these days, in a really good way.
I’m not saying for one minute, sit back and wait for life to happen around you. Life is for living to the full and I believe we should grab it with both hands, as we rarely know what is around the next corner. But sometimes biding your time, waiting, puts you in a better position; one that you might not have seen if you just jumped in - and that is a wonderful thing.